My Thoughts about Self-Confidence

I remembered my old blog entry ”Self-Esteem and Skirts” from June 2012 and started to think of my self-esteem again and what it is today. Back in 2012 it was in pieces but now I have come a long way.

One blog entry of a blogger I sometimes check asked everyone to tell something that they love about themselves - a physical feature, a mental quality, both or anything else. Back in 2012 I would have had to think my head to the point of spinning but nowadays I had an answer right away: three physical features I love myself are my eyes, my pale skin and my long hair. And a mental quality I love is that I've learned I'm more stronger than I have thought, for it has been proven over the years since I've gone through dark times - and I'm still on my feet.

One person asked me at a time that when it was when I felt most beautiful... It took me a moment to answer. I answered that I feel most beautiful when I have my make-up on, I have my hair red and my corset on. That wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either, now when I'm thinking of it afterwards... I do feel prettier than the prettiest girl in the whole world and confident when I'm all dressed up and put on my make-up - but this persons question and my answer more than any, got me thinking... No one had asked me that question for a long time and thus I have not had to think of it... But now when I'm thinking of it, on every morning I'm waking up and seeing myself from the mirror I'm there just smiling to myself! I try to "infect" (that has got to be a wrong word, tell me the right one!) myself with a positive energy by smiling. It has been my ritual for a long time now and I do it every day, all the time, when I'm watching myself on the mirror. But I don’t see myself “ugly” anymore and I still feel quite pretty even in the morning, with my messed up hair and natural face.

And when I have had my make-up, I'm glad to wash it off so I can feel fresh. But, usually, after I have cleaned one eye, I compare the both side of my face and see which one I think is prettier... Nowadays, I usually can not decide... The both sides are equally pretty in their own way, I think. And I don't feel bad anymore to wash away the mask I used to hide behind before – that's how I used to feel, for I nowadays don't do my makeup for no one else but just for me to feel pretty and I’m not hiding anymore! I used to do it for the others and that was just wrong. Now it's not a mask but only highlighting my beauty that I already have and what I have finally learned I have.

Now, I’m trying to portray my feelings I feel nowadays (with or without makeup) with two pictures:

Heh.

What makes you to feel good about yourself? :)

Flea Market Findings & Other Findings

I’ve got lost in, oh, so wonderful world of Flea Markets again... Last week I found a mini top hat from a strange flea market I had never gone before and now I found myself digging in to my local one. Here’s what I found:

This stamp collection called “Miss Empire” with stamps of Victorian ladies, a clock and a key – just what I like. From the same table I found handmade cards, which one in particular, caught my eye:

I love how the maker of the cards had taken all of the details in considering, for example, when I opened the card from its plastic wrap, I saw this little piggy with striped background on the back of the card: 

The whole card looked like this:

I don’t think I’m sending this card to anyone but myself...

And still, from the same table I found this decoration heart with a pretty Victorian lady and a tiny gear (yay, steampunk-ish!) – I hung it to the other end of my bed, but I will have to protect it from the cats for Lara already tried to take a bite of it already! Silly cat... 

And then I found this necklace from the other table for only 1 euro, and from the very first time I tried it on I fell in for it and have been using it almost every day: 

I have made findings outside from flea markets also - gladly! I went to an interior decoration shop which was closing up their business and selling everything with 10-70 % discount and found blackish wine glasses which I guarded until the shop assistant came and took them so she could wrap them in paper. I also found this card which I should have found for myself three weeks ago when it was my birthday: 

We went shopping to the near shopping center after my dentist and I found these jewelries from a damn 50 % discount! 

A pair of earrings and this beautiful bracelet:

Even all this didn’t become that expensive after all for they were either from a flea market or discount, but for the further notice and in conclusion: do not let me get into flea markets of any kind nor shops with discounted items. I’m so under the influence!

Antique & Mini Top Hats

Oh my, how I love all things antique! There’s this one antique shop near city center where I like to go. Last time I walked by it, I saw a beautiful wooden ink bottle holder with a glass ink bottle set in the middle of it and wooden ink pen in front of it. Unfortunately the antique shop was already closed so I called there on the next day and asked the owner (a very nice woman who likes to talk) to put it aside. She said she would hold it to the next day still on display but she would not sell it to anyone else. When I went there on the next day the owner said I was very smart to call her because a young man had come to ask for the price of the ink bottle holder and pen. The pen was sold separately but it was very affordable and seemed unused. I will always receive a history lesson on whatever I’m buying there – the woman told the wooden ink bottle holder was made of apple tree and was made in the turning of 1800’s and 1900’s and that the ink bottle itself was made of crystal. Unfortunately, I didn’t have more time to chat with her or look around but if I would have had, I would have been all over the shop digging through old photographs and medicine bottles.

Here’s the ink bottle holder, crystal ink bottle and ink pen:

The brim on the bottle is tarnished over its one-hundred-year existence and I love it. First I thought of filling it with black ink and actually use it but now when I’m thinking of it, I won’t – I will put it in my vitrine and when I have a big wooden writing desk one day, I will display it on it.

Underneath the crystal ink bottle, on the wood is carved a handmade Russian seal. The owner of the antique shop couldn’t read it and neither can I but I think it’s great!

Speaking of getting lost in antique shops... I found a new one today. It was filled old bird cages, photos, books, skulls (I don’t particularly like them because I’m vegetarian and I can not know how they are ended up in the shelves of a store – through cruelty or by natural death?)... And today happened what always seems to happen when I step into an antique store; something got my eye. This time it was old binoculars which was absolutely gorgeous and the price could still be negotiated. I think they are kind of steampunk-ish, don’t you think? And the best part? They actually do work! Shame I didn’t notice to ask how old they were...

And what would this entry be without mini top hats, I promised in the title?

I found a little top hat on the front, with a feather (faux I think and hope!) from a flea market we just decided to go and see what it was like. I added it to my (still) very small “collection” of mini top hats...

Here’s my other two mini top hats:

And here’s my tiny “collection” so far:

This is it for this time... I will post more of my flea market findings and other findings on my next post, if you’re interested. They all just didn’t fit in this post.

Creamy Vegetable Soup Recipe

A Creamy Vegetable Soup is perfect for a cold days. We got everything fresh laying from our fridge to the soup but it doesn’t mean it was somehow bad – on the contrary. This is a very financial soup to make considering that there are always fresh vegetables in the fridge.

Creamy Vegetable Soup

Ingredients
5-6 carrots
1 parsnip
5 potatoes
the white part of one leek
1 onion
100 g cauliflower
1,5 liter water
6 tsp vegetable bouillon powder
1 tsp salt
0,5 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp dried basil
hint of white pepper
2 dl soy cream or oat cream (or some other vegetable based cream)

Directions
1. Peel the vegetables. Slice the carrots, parsnip and onion, piece the potatoes. Sauté the onions if you like, but don’t brown.
2. Add water and vegetable bouillon powder.
3. Boil for half an hour, until all the vegetables are cooked. Take 5 dl of water out of the pot and purée all the vegetables. Add spices and lastly add oat cream.
4. Boil the soup quickly and serve. Garnish the soup with fresh parsley, if you like.

Enjoy!

Style Inspiration: Burlesque

There has been quite a while between these posts... This “Style Inspiration” post is about Burlesque.

Burlesque is a literary, dramatic or musical work intended to cause laughter by caricaturing the manner or spirit of serious works, or by ludicrous treatment of their subjects. Burlesque overlaps in meaning with caricature, parody and travesty, and, in its theatrical sense, with extravaganza, as presented during the Victorian era. "Burlesque" has been used in English in literary and theatrical sense since the late 17th century. The word "Burlesque" derives from the Italian "burlesco", which, in turn, is derived from the Italian burla – a joke, ridicule or mockery. A later use of the term, particularly in the United States, refers to performances in a variety show format, which were popular from the 1860s to the 1940s. The performances took place often in cabarets and clubs, as well as theatres, and featured female striptease and bawdy comedy.

Victorian burlesque, sometimes known as "travesty" or "extravaganza", was popular in London theatres between the 1830s and the 1890s. It took the form of musical theatre parody in which a well-known opera, play or ballet was adapted into a broad comic play, usually a musical play, often risqué in style, mocking the theatrical and musical conventions and styles of the original work, and quoting or pastiching text or music from the original work.

Some Hollywood films attempted to recreate the spirit of Burlesque performances from the 1930s to the 1960s, or included burlesque-style scenes within dramatic films. There has been a resurgence of interest in this format since the 1990s.

Here are pictures of the Burlesque fashion:

There are times when I fantasize about being a glorious Burlesque dancer with fans and with tightly laced corset. But that’s just one of my silly thoughts I have in my head, hah. The next “Style Inspiration” posts will be about “Gothic Fashion” which will be in two separate parts.